MittStache

Mitt Romney needs a mustache.
Ok, you’re a little pitchy.  One more time. “Just the two of us, we can make it if we try!” No, Barry, key of C. 

Ok, you’re a little pitchy.  One more time. “Just the two of us, we can make it if we try!” No, Barry, key of C. 

I don’t care if this is suppose to be civil. You can eat me, Barry. 

I don’t care if this is suppose to be civil. You can eat me, Barry. 

Ok, who the hell let this Yeti in to ask questions?! I bet it was Crowley. I think she’s part sasquatch. Damn Bigfoot. 

Ok, who the hell let this Yeti in to ask questions?! I bet it was Crowley. I think she’s part sasquatch. Damn Bigfoot. 

I was fabulous as usual Bitches. Such is Mitt. 

I was fabulous as usual Bitches. Such is Mitt. 

Look Paul, all I’m saying is that Mr. Miyagi could give Chuck Norris a run for his money! The man never had a punch landed on him! That reminds me, should I honk Barack’s nose at the next debate? That would be hilarious! 

Look Paul, all I’m saying is that Mr. Miyagi could give Chuck Norris a run for his money! The man never had a punch landed on him! That reminds me, should I honk Barack’s nose at the next debate? That would be hilarious! 

Oh man, it’s Mike Rowe. I bet he’s going to expect me to shovel shit or clean shit or do something with shit of some kind. I just know it.  

Oh man, it’s Mike Rowe. I bet he’s going to expect me to shovel shit or clean shit or do something with shit of some kind. I just know it.  

You have no idea the pain you’re about to experience at the hands of Mitt? 

You have no idea the pain you’re about to experience at the hands of Mitt? 

So this is what the kids like? Farts? Well they better get ready, I just ate a vat of Wolf Brand Bean Chili! 

So this is what the kids like? Farts? Well they better get ready, I just ate a vat of Wolf Brand Bean Chili! 

Charlie at 9 O’clock? Don’t worry, I got this. 

Charlie at 9 O’clock? Don’t worry, I got this. 

I know I’m as powerful as a kodiak grizzly, but that doesn’t mean you have to feed me like one.  Salmon?! Really?! Get me some Steak filled Steaks here pronto! 

I know I’m as powerful as a kodiak grizzly, but that doesn’t mean you have to feed me like one.  Salmon?! Really?! Get me some Steak filled Steaks here pronto! 

Ok, I would love to sit around and talk about dumbass shit at the Denny’s but that Breakfast bar is about to close and that bacon ain’t gonna eat itself!

Ok, I would love to sit around and talk about dumbass shit at the Denny’s but that Breakfast bar is about to close and that bacon ain’t gonna eat itself!

Ok, carry the one…..square root of 2,012….take away that….and Yep! Now if my calculations are correct, and they always are, this right here tells me that I am still the baddest MoFo that God ever put on this planet. 

Ok, carry the one…..square root of 2,012….take away that….and Yep! Now if my calculations are correct, and they always are, this right here tells me that I am still the baddest MoFo that God ever put on this planet. 

I am counting on you Oh Bearded One to lead my Army into the center of the Earth where we can once and for all defeat the Mole People that have threatened us for centuries. Also I need that helmet. It’s badass. 

I am counting on you Oh Bearded One to lead my Army into the center of the Earth where we can once and for all defeat the Mole People that have threatened us for centuries. Also I need that helmet. It’s badass. 

Damn, the orange guy is crying. I should have never told him they’re serving turkey bacon for lunch. Hell, I almost cried a little inside. 

Damn, the orange guy is crying. I should have never told him they’re serving turkey bacon for lunch. Hell, I almost cried a little inside. 

The Remake of CHiPs is going to be so badass. And I’m playing Ponch! 

The Remake of CHiPs is going to be so badass. And I’m playing Ponch!